Makeup sex is normal and generally healthy. Not only can it be wildly passionate, but it can also sustain intimacy during tough times.
Do you know it is natural to feel turned on after an argument? In the heat of battle, adrenaline and dopamine (your hormone of desire) levels rise, giving you that excited feeling of wanting to have sex. This rush can be a good substitute for foreplay, so you can get right to it.
It seems a little strange that you can go from being so pissed off to so turned on, but in fact, it happens to a lot of people. Hence the term “makeup sex”, the act in which couples who have just had an argument head to the bedroom to hook up and makeup.
Experts disagree on the outlook of makeup sex, some believe makeup sex is unhealthy as it rewards “fighting, drama, and generally bad behaviour”. Sexologist and television personality Jessica O’Reilly describes makeup sex as positive, settling conflicts that can only be resolved through sex.
Makeup sex may be more intense, as it may assist in releasing underlying emotions.
Dr Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the blog Sex and Psychology, says that sex relieves stress—“[so] it stands to reason that makeup sex could help reduce feelings of stress and allow couples to move on faster”.
According to Lehmiller, the idea is that if you have carryover arousal from, say, a fight with your partner that you bring into the bedroom, it can make the ensuing sex more intense; because your physiological and psychological states are so heightened from all the fight and quarrel.
Sex is a great way to bond and helps to release oxytocin – a peptide hormone and neuropeptide normally produced in the hypothalamus and released by the posterior pituitary; it plays a role in social bonding.
Consequently, makeup sex is a great way to air out some of those pent-up feelings, but you have to be careful that you’re not avoiding the “talking about it” portion of the program as a result, Shaffer says.
Finally, if you always have to fight with your partner to have an intense romp, then you should seriously consider talking to a couples counsellor.